On Saturday morning my youngest son, Nathan, came to me and said;
"Mom, I'm having a hard time being a good Christian and doing the right thing."
He's 9. I inwardly smiled at his choice of phrasing, then looked up at him and asked him what he was struggling with. He answered with;
"Ethan and Nolan (the middle two) are wrestling and I want to join in. I want to join in on Ethan's side, but I know that will make Nolan mad. I feel like I should stay out of it"
I understood the situation he was in because Ethan was the older of the two, I could also hear that Ethan and Nolan were having a ton of fun, and knew that Nathan would change the dynamic. So, I asked Nathan what his little inner voice was saying.
"My inner voice is telling me to stay out of it because Nolan will feel it's unfair and ganged up on, but I really want to get in there."
I replied that he should probably listen to his inner voice. He smiled at me, agreed, and went to do something else. All was happy and peaceful. Minus the ongoing wrestling match on the landing.
Saturday morning I was also getting ready for a girls day out to Edmonton for a friend's 40th birthday when I looked at the weather report. I was to be the driver. We were under a winter storm warning. Rain turning to freezing rain, then turning to snow, add in 60 kph winds and you have a recipe for hideous road conditions. My friend's husband had wanted me to take their vehicle so he could pay for the gas, but my inner voice was strongly suggesting I take my own vehicle. Jody had bought some of the best quality winter tires (Nokia Hakkapeliitta's) on the market for my van last November, and with the weather report being what it was, I wanted the comfort and safety of my own vehicle, with my Finnish Road Warriors under me. I also did a head count and realized I was responsible for returning the Mother's of 14 kids back home safely. I was to take my own van.
Due to my husband having a bit of a cold, I hadn't slept well. I was exhausted leaving the house. God knew this. The birthday girl (who is not always totally on time...sorry!) was running 13 minutes late. God also knew that was going to happen. I still needed to gas up. God knew that too. As we left the gas station I silently prayed;
"OK Father, it's You and me. Please help me to bring me and my beautiful friends home to our husbands and babies."
We hit the highway. God knew exactly what time I was going to hit the junction of Highway 21 and Highway 13. Even though the speed limit was 80 kph, my inner voice said;
"Slow it down to 60, Koskela."
I slowed down.
God knew the driver of the fully loaded semi was not going to see me with a mini van full of Mothers. My inner voice said;
"Somethings not right. Head's up Girl."
Nothing looked wrong as the driver came into the intersection, but I watched the driver and got ready to touch my breaks.
God knew the driver was going to pull out and make a left turn in front of me. I'm sure my inner voice said something at that point, but quite frankly I missed it due to some expletives going on behind and beside me... :) My tires did their job, my van handled like I knew it could, and the van stopped just as the driver realized I was there and tried to correct his mistake. Seconds. That's it. Seconds. I slowly curved around him and proceeded through the rest of the intersection with a total calm. It was odd. I silently thanked God for his protection and carried on to Edmonton.
I never thought about it again until I was home safely and my husband asked me how the drive went. I mentioned that the drive home was a bit yucky but that I felt great in the van. I thanked him again for my tires and then remembered the semi. As I finished telling him the story, he wrapped his arms around me, nuzzled his face into my hair, and thanked God for my safe return.
At that moment, I had to thank God again for that inner voice. God's prompting. We may not know why, but He does. We just need to listen and obey.
I pray my sons will continue to listen as well.