Well, I'm chubby.
Now, before y'all try to defend me here, go back and read the title. I'm giving up excuses. I realized recently that as my weight has steadily climbed in the last 7 years, I needed to figure out what I was doing differently. Now clearly the most obvious is location. I've moved. BUT...there had to be more to the puzzle, because an extra 38 pounds doesn't just randomly appear. So I started a list. Here is what I came up with.
1. In Sointula, I used to walk 3 - 5 kilometers a day. Rain or shine. Plain and simple. Here, I don't. I whine instead and find excuses. Now, I do have a few valid issues, but I have a wonderful treadmill that we bought 2 years ago that cancels them out. Like;
"It's to cold out." "I don't want to slip on the ice." "It's to hot, the dog will overheat." "The mosquitoes are bad." and "I don't like walking through town here because there is really no where to go."
Apparently I want the Boogie Man's Hill circuit, Kaleva Road, Villian's Road, or Bere Point Trail. I also want the climate of the West Coast, and a wet stinky dog again. Who knew?
2. When Jody moved to Alberta 8 months ahead of the boys and I, I started drinking coffee for the caffeine boost. I don't like coffee, so I would put International Delight Hazelnut in it to make it palatable. Up until then, I would start my day with a small glass of pure OJ, and a mug of clear green tea. However, as my body wanted more caffeine, my coffee mug got bigger, which translated into more Hazelnut. About 250 calories worth, a day. Ugh....
3. Also since we arrived here, the Double Double Steeped Tea from Tim Horton's has become my life line in running boys to late evening activities. Especially when it's -20 or colder out. I used to only get one on my drive home from Campbell River once a month. It was a comfort thing for the drive, the last stop before we hit the highway, and became a bit of a tradition. However, here, I leave the city and hit the highway home sometimes 5 nights a week. It has become my evening pick me up for the 58 kilometer drive home, sometimes at 10:00 at night. Also, I can spot a Timmies in any city from a mile away, and am switching lanes before the boys even know what's going on in the middle of the afternoon. You get the idea. I LOVE my Double Double Steeped Tea now.
4. Last but not least, my joy. I lost my joy with myself. As life changed a bit after we moved, I struggled to find my place. I struggled to fit in to a community that I didn't understand. I struggled to find room in our budget to do all that was available to us. I struggled to find a place I felt I belonged. I struggled to figure out who I was. I struggled to dress so I didn't stand out in my crazy West Coast style. I had left all that was familiar and safe behind, hoping to find happiness and contentment with myself in our new life. Once the newness wore off, and reality set in, I realized it wasn't going to happen. Our family and home has it's own culture, beliefs, traditions, and heartbeat. Far different then rural Alberta. Not better by any means, just different. It has to be different. We were raised on an Island.
So, this started the process of looking at life differently. Last week I gave up coffee cold turkey and went back to clear green tea in the AM. I have removed any sugar at all from my steeped tea and am doing fine now without it. Thank goodness for a bit of cream.. :) I have an amazing treadmill in my living room that I am now using daily to walk at least 3 kilometers. No excuses! I crank my tunes and away I go.
As for feeling content with the Ellerie God wants me to be? Well, you'll have to stay tuned for that. I am finding my place though. I have a wonderful Church family now where I feel I can sink down some roots and belong, I am back to playing the electric bass guitar a bit, I have found my love of the kitchen again making foods that my family can recognize as being made with love, I canned my heart out last summer and plan on doing even more this year. We are back to eating only homemade jam. I am slowly returning to who I was before leaving the comfort of our Island home. Hopefully, as I continue to re-learn that only God can truly fill the empty spots in my heart, and be my extra comfort and energy when needed, my body will slowly return to my God size, and my struggle with trying to fit in will shed off with the unwanted pounds.