As many of you know, I started a project a year and a half ago with my camera. I needed practice behind the lens, and I wanted to show my friends, who struggle with being in front of the lens, that they truly are beautiful. I was surprised how many women turned me down. It made me so sad to think about how hard we are on ourselves. When I look at the amazing women I am surrounded by on a daily basis, it actually chokes me up to know that they cannot see what I see. Now, I recognize that I'm the biggest hypocrite of them all here, because I struggle to see it in myself too. My husband can tell me that I'm beautiful daily (and he does, bless his heart) but do I believe him? Not really. I can if he's a bit more intentional though.
If he tells me my hair looks great that day, or he likes the rear view of the jeans I'm wearing, or that my sweater fits me nicely, THAT I can believe. But the whole package? Why is that so hard to accept? I can tell you IN DETAIL my favorite features of each and every one of the women I photographed. Can I tell you mine? Hmmmm...maybe. Let's see;
- I like the color of my eyes.
-
OK....I've been sitting here paused now for probably 3 minutes. Good grief! My eyes??? That's it?
Anyway, I watched this link this morning and thought it was so telling. What a fantastic way to hit us all between the eyes.
http://youtu.be/XpaOjMXyJGk
Tuesday 16 April 2013
Saturday 13 April 2013
Celebrating Timber
Some of you are probably thinking that I'm nuts to celebrate my dog, but he truly is a reason to celebrate. He's actually a bit of a miracle.
Timber is our pure-bred German Shepherd, and today, Timber turns 4. He was only supposed to live maybe a year. If he did live longer then a year, he was never supposed to walk without a terrible limp, be able to run properly, or live a good quality life. He has conquered them all.
I'm not sure if part of our incredible love for him was born out of our desire to "love him better", or if he just suits the family so well, we can't imagine life without him. Either way, we love our family guardian.
Timber has this uncanny ability to know who needs him. If one of the boys is having a rough night of bad dreams, or had a tough day, he will sleep with whoever it is. If someone needs to wrap their arms around his thick, furry neck, he will lay there as long as they need, and then lay his head in their lap just as a bonus. If he feels any nervousness from me, he sticks pretty close. He will also do a perimeter sweep of the yard, check that everyone is safely in bed, and then once satisfied, lay across the front door. He has accepted many of my friend's children as part of his "peeps."
He'll fight with Grandma on the stairs and in the kitchen, nip at the boys, or trip them, if they are mis-behaving, harass me whenever I'm trying to leave without him, and barks at Dad every-single-time- he walks through the door. (I'm sure it's just to get a rise out of him!) He loves to lay in the chair he claimed as a puppy, which has a perfect vantage point to watch the inner workings of the home. He still lays down to eat his food, even though he now has more then enough strength to stand. He can communicate his needs for the basics of life as well as a few tricks he can pull out to surprise us. He gets upset with me if he is outside when it's time to wake up the boys, because he loves that part of the mornings. I just have to say the word, and he will run up the stairs to his buddies.
On evenings of intense Thunder and Lightning storms, Timber will go find a boy to hide him. He will go flying upstairs, or down to the living room, and find a corner of a bed, closet, or under a desk, where some kid will invariably hide him and then keep him company until it's over. Not because they are scared, but because they recognize that Timber now needs them.
To this crazy dog, I am Mom. He treats me with adoring love and respect, hates when I leave home, but also saves his shenanigans for me! The boys are like siblings to him. They fight, they play, they harass, they run, they tackle, and they love fiercely. Grandma is Grandma. She will lay down the law if needed, but prefers to love him up in the kitchen with tasty morsels, (which is against the rules, I might add!), and is always more then happy to spoil him a bit. Dad is meant to be respected, obeyed, but played with constantly, and harassed beyond belief. Timber was made for our family.
So, yes! Today we celebrate Timer! We celebrate his ability to love, protect, amuse, and bring immense joy to our family! We celebrate our family protector..... :)
Timber is our pure-bred German Shepherd, and today, Timber turns 4. He was only supposed to live maybe a year. If he did live longer then a year, he was never supposed to walk without a terrible limp, be able to run properly, or live a good quality life. He has conquered them all.
I'm not sure if part of our incredible love for him was born out of our desire to "love him better", or if he just suits the family so well, we can't imagine life without him. Either way, we love our family guardian.
Timber has this uncanny ability to know who needs him. If one of the boys is having a rough night of bad dreams, or had a tough day, he will sleep with whoever it is. If someone needs to wrap their arms around his thick, furry neck, he will lay there as long as they need, and then lay his head in their lap just as a bonus. If he feels any nervousness from me, he sticks pretty close. He will also do a perimeter sweep of the yard, check that everyone is safely in bed, and then once satisfied, lay across the front door. He has accepted many of my friend's children as part of his "peeps."
He'll fight with Grandma on the stairs and in the kitchen, nip at the boys, or trip them, if they are mis-behaving, harass me whenever I'm trying to leave without him, and barks at Dad every-single-time- he walks through the door. (I'm sure it's just to get a rise out of him!) He loves to lay in the chair he claimed as a puppy, which has a perfect vantage point to watch the inner workings of the home. He still lays down to eat his food, even though he now has more then enough strength to stand. He can communicate his needs for the basics of life as well as a few tricks he can pull out to surprise us. He gets upset with me if he is outside when it's time to wake up the boys, because he loves that part of the mornings. I just have to say the word, and he will run up the stairs to his buddies.
On evenings of intense Thunder and Lightning storms, Timber will go find a boy to hide him. He will go flying upstairs, or down to the living room, and find a corner of a bed, closet, or under a desk, where some kid will invariably hide him and then keep him company until it's over. Not because they are scared, but because they recognize that Timber now needs them.
To this crazy dog, I am Mom. He treats me with adoring love and respect, hates when I leave home, but also saves his shenanigans for me! The boys are like siblings to him. They fight, they play, they harass, they run, they tackle, and they love fiercely. Grandma is Grandma. She will lay down the law if needed, but prefers to love him up in the kitchen with tasty morsels, (which is against the rules, I might add!), and is always more then happy to spoil him a bit. Dad is meant to be respected, obeyed, but played with constantly, and harassed beyond belief. Timber was made for our family.
So, yes! Today we celebrate Timer! We celebrate his ability to love, protect, amuse, and bring immense joy to our family! We celebrate our family protector..... :)
Thursday 11 April 2013
Putting On My Game Face.
One of my most favourite parenting lessons was learning to put on my game face. As I have said before, I'm a huge advocate for teaching my boys to have courage, and part of this comes from the term... "Game Face."
In the rush of the morning routine, I will quite often walk upstairs to wake up the boys (and yes, I shouldn't have to wake them up, and yes, they are old enough for an alarm, and yes, that should be their responsibility.....BUT, we will save that for a different debate and blog post!)and I say to myself;
"OK girl, time for your game face. Quiet time is over, smile in place, happy voice loaded and ready. It's go time."
It doesn't always end how it started, and sometimes it's starts poor and ends well, but it's all about the game face.
I recognized a need for it first during labour. I had to have a conversation with myself that went something like this;
"Pull yourself together girl! It's not about you! Put your game face on, do what you were built to do, and deal with getting this baby born!"
Did I mention I had to push for 4 hours? And that they still had to vacume him out?? And he was 9lbs7oz? Again, that's a whole different blog post!
Anyway! Other scenarios for game face now come in the form of comments like;
"Mom, can I talk to you?" or "Mom, I didn't do very well on my test." or "Mom, what does ______ (insert your own scary word!) mean?" That would be my personal favourite. Or, "Mom, I'm worried." OR when they all come bursting through the door after school.
All these scenarios force me to take a minute, switch gears, get my game face on, and even stop what I'm doing, so whomever needs me has my undivided attention. They are depending on me to set the tone for the house, conversation, dilemma, or how they need to respond to themselves emotionally. Sometimes we even make a mug of tea to help us sort through it. Most of the time they can talk their way through it themselves and come up with a solution on their own.....with a bit of guidance. It's usually a case of me just giving them the time to sort it out, without trying to fix it for them, rescue them, degrade them, or de-value how they're feeling. It's about the grace to validate, then move on to a solution. I want them, as men, husbands, and fathers, to be able to tackle a challenge, whatever it may be, with courage, determination, accountability, grace, and compassion. Full circle back to game face.
In my world, that means coming at something calmly, graciously, and with your head and heart fully engaged. My latest "Game Face" pep talk to myself has come because we are gearing up for our family's busy sports season. I NEED to be ready. I will be running 5 days a week to different sports venues, trying to feed everyone nutritiously, keep up with laundry, homework, baking, finances, emotional needs, husband needs, school council needs, AND maintain a gentle and loving attitude towards the people who come across my path. I need to be able to set the household tone properly for the next 4 months. Game face.
I have a little game face motion that I do to my boys, as they are heading onto the soccer field, running track, swimming pool, Taekwon Do ring, basketball court, or any other area of life I feel it's needed. I motion my hands over my face in a circular way. The boys know this to mean;
"Good luck! I'm praying for you! Give em' heck! I'm proud of you! And GAME FACE ON!"
Usually I get a little smile, or wave, sometimes a cheeky shake of the head, but always they know what it means. They know I've set the tone, and no matter what, we will get through it together. Whether we celebrate or re-asses.
Even though I know we are all busy, and I know we all have different areas of our worlds that drain us or try our patience, girls, we need to be ready. We need to be aware of the tone we set because these precious kids depend on it. And if we screw up? Call it for what it is, apologize, smother it in grace, and move on. And if your kid screws up? Call it for what it is, forgive, smother it in grace, and move on.
Tally Ho!
PS: By the way, if any of you happen to see me looking slightly frazzled over the next few months remember.... Circular motions inward over your face at me. I'll happily take the hint and encouragement!
In the rush of the morning routine, I will quite often walk upstairs to wake up the boys (and yes, I shouldn't have to wake them up, and yes, they are old enough for an alarm, and yes, that should be their responsibility.....BUT, we will save that for a different debate and blog post!)and I say to myself;
"OK girl, time for your game face. Quiet time is over, smile in place, happy voice loaded and ready. It's go time."
It doesn't always end how it started, and sometimes it's starts poor and ends well, but it's all about the game face.
I recognized a need for it first during labour. I had to have a conversation with myself that went something like this;
"Pull yourself together girl! It's not about you! Put your game face on, do what you were built to do, and deal with getting this baby born!"
Did I mention I had to push for 4 hours? And that they still had to vacume him out?? And he was 9lbs7oz? Again, that's a whole different blog post!
Anyway! Other scenarios for game face now come in the form of comments like;
"Mom, can I talk to you?" or "Mom, I didn't do very well on my test." or "Mom, what does ______ (insert your own scary word!) mean?" That would be my personal favourite. Or, "Mom, I'm worried." OR when they all come bursting through the door after school.
All these scenarios force me to take a minute, switch gears, get my game face on, and even stop what I'm doing, so whomever needs me has my undivided attention. They are depending on me to set the tone for the house, conversation, dilemma, or how they need to respond to themselves emotionally. Sometimes we even make a mug of tea to help us sort through it. Most of the time they can talk their way through it themselves and come up with a solution on their own.....with a bit of guidance. It's usually a case of me just giving them the time to sort it out, without trying to fix it for them, rescue them, degrade them, or de-value how they're feeling. It's about the grace to validate, then move on to a solution. I want them, as men, husbands, and fathers, to be able to tackle a challenge, whatever it may be, with courage, determination, accountability, grace, and compassion. Full circle back to game face.
In my world, that means coming at something calmly, graciously, and with your head and heart fully engaged. My latest "Game Face" pep talk to myself has come because we are gearing up for our family's busy sports season. I NEED to be ready. I will be running 5 days a week to different sports venues, trying to feed everyone nutritiously, keep up with laundry, homework, baking, finances, emotional needs, husband needs, school council needs, AND maintain a gentle and loving attitude towards the people who come across my path. I need to be able to set the household tone properly for the next 4 months. Game face.
I have a little game face motion that I do to my boys, as they are heading onto the soccer field, running track, swimming pool, Taekwon Do ring, basketball court, or any other area of life I feel it's needed. I motion my hands over my face in a circular way. The boys know this to mean;
"Good luck! I'm praying for you! Give em' heck! I'm proud of you! And GAME FACE ON!"
Usually I get a little smile, or wave, sometimes a cheeky shake of the head, but always they know what it means. They know I've set the tone, and no matter what, we will get through it together. Whether we celebrate or re-asses.
Even though I know we are all busy, and I know we all have different areas of our worlds that drain us or try our patience, girls, we need to be ready. We need to be aware of the tone we set because these precious kids depend on it. And if we screw up? Call it for what it is, apologize, smother it in grace, and move on. And if your kid screws up? Call it for what it is, forgive, smother it in grace, and move on.
Tally Ho!
PS: By the way, if any of you happen to see me looking slightly frazzled over the next few months remember.... Circular motions inward over your face at me. I'll happily take the hint and encouragement!
Thursday 4 April 2013
Thirst
This morning my Mom and I were having a conversation over my green tea and her (extremely yummy smelling!) coffee. I was expressing to her a constant frustration of mine with a person close to me, and my Mom suggested maybe it was time to play hard ball. I probably sighed, and I know I responded with;
"I know, but it's that whole 'You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink' thing."
In my frustration, I tend to want to drag the person to the water and shove their head into it... :) BUT, that never works. So, this is where my Mom's wisdom came in. My Mom told me about something she had read earlier in the week. She said;
"Sweetie, you might not be able to make the person drink, but you can sure make them thirsty."
For me it was like a light bulb went on. It was so true. Drinking a glass of water, when you're not thirsty, is not something a person would normally do. At least not in my world! It also rarely happens when I'm all comfy cozy and curled up in bed! However, on a hot day, after mowing the lawn, or going for a fast walk, or being on the treadmill, or stacking firewood, or just plain doing something to get me sweaty and thirsty, I'm all over the water. I'm thirsty, and I want water. You don't have to force me at all. In fact, I would probably be grouchy if I was denied it! It made sense.
So, it just made me think about how many times we struggle to get someone to drink the proverbial water, when really it's not our job. They have to choose to want it, or be plain old thirsty.
It also made me think of the times God must look at me and say;
"OK Ellerie! You are going to have to get thirsty."
Whether it's to teach me a lesson, or humble my pride, or just send me a challenge.
I am thankful for the desire to drink. I am thankful for the gift of choice. I am thankful that God doesn't ram my head into the water.
Thirst. The desire to do something to change the situation.
"I know, but it's that whole 'You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink' thing."
In my frustration, I tend to want to drag the person to the water and shove their head into it... :) BUT, that never works. So, this is where my Mom's wisdom came in. My Mom told me about something she had read earlier in the week. She said;
"Sweetie, you might not be able to make the person drink, but you can sure make them thirsty."
For me it was like a light bulb went on. It was so true. Drinking a glass of water, when you're not thirsty, is not something a person would normally do. At least not in my world! It also rarely happens when I'm all comfy cozy and curled up in bed! However, on a hot day, after mowing the lawn, or going for a fast walk, or being on the treadmill, or stacking firewood, or just plain doing something to get me sweaty and thirsty, I'm all over the water. I'm thirsty, and I want water. You don't have to force me at all. In fact, I would probably be grouchy if I was denied it! It made sense.
So, it just made me think about how many times we struggle to get someone to drink the proverbial water, when really it's not our job. They have to choose to want it, or be plain old thirsty.
It also made me think of the times God must look at me and say;
"OK Ellerie! You are going to have to get thirsty."
Whether it's to teach me a lesson, or humble my pride, or just send me a challenge.
I am thankful for the desire to drink. I am thankful for the gift of choice. I am thankful that God doesn't ram my head into the water.
Thirst. The desire to do something to change the situation.
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